Year 4 End

Here is the year end's masterpost. Let's get the formalities out of the way: this doesn't include any extra links in individual posts, just that one set song. To make this post not tediously long I've forgone a numbered list and opted for paragraphs of 50 songs to each (minus the last).

Hello – Adele | Younger Days – Adaline | Haunting – Halsey | Pity Party – Melanie Martinez | Can't Feel My Face – The Weeknd | 3 Foot Tall – Classified | Here – Alessia Cara | Rehab – Amy Winehouse | Gold Digger – Kanye West ft. Jamie Foxx | Jenny from the Block – Jennifer Lopez | Put Your Hands Up In The Air – DJ Tonka | Gee – Girls Generation | Bitch I’m Madonna – Madonna ft. Nicki Minaj | Genie In A Bottle – Christina Aguilera | Stronger – Britney Spears | Rich Girl – Gwen Stefani ft. Eve | Survivor – Destiny's Child ft. Da Brat | SOS – Rihanna | Hit 'Em Up Style (Oops!) – Blu Cantrell | Right Thurr – Chingy | Yeah! – Usher ft. Lil Jon, Ludacris | Hot In Here – Nelly | Let's Get It Started – The Black Eyed Peas | Thong Song – Sisqo | Gasolina – Daddy Yankey ft. Pit Bull & Lil Jon | Party Up (Up In Here) – DMX | The Rain – Missy Elliott | Gangster's Paradise – Coolio | 2 Legit 2 Quit – MC Hammer | Basic – Pusher | I'm an Albatraoz – AronChupa | Mi Mi Mi – Serebro | Lean On – Major Lazer & DJ Snake | Watch Me (Whip/Nae Nae) – Silentó | Baby Boy – Beyoncé ft. Sean Paul | Worth It – Fifth Harmony ft. Kid Ink | Dangerous – Alyssa Reid ft. The Heist | Mr. President – Pia Mia | Brand New Day – Kari Kimmel | 2 Heads - Coleman Hell | Magic – Two Hours Traffic | Young Fathers – Typhoon | Pull Me In – Paper Lions | Chapel Song – We Are Augustines | Beam Me Up – Go Back To The Zoo | Wake up little Susie – Everly Brothers | Mr. Lee – The Bobettes | Great Balls of Fire – Jerry Lee Lewis | A Teenager in Love – Dion & The Belmonts | Save The Last Dance For Me – The Drifters

Dream Lover – Bobby Darin | These Boots Are Made For Walkin – Nancy Sinatra | Rather Be – Clean Bandit ft. Jess Glynne | Let's Get Movin' Into Action – Skye Sweetnam | Shut Up and Dance – Walk The Moon | Love Myself – Hailee Steinfeld | This Love – Maroon 5 | Rollercoaster – The Orion Experience | My TVR – McFly | Now I Can Be the Real Me – Adam DiMarco | Beautiful Soul – Jesse McCartney | Possibilities – Freddie Stroma | Don't Go – Rae Morris | Say Something – Great Big World ft. Christina Aguilera | Bounce – Brasstronaut | Drunk – Corey Gray | Titanium/Pavane – Tyler Ward & The Piano Guys | Love Yourself/Fuck Yourself – Yo Preston ft. Kelly Kiara | Drag Me Down/As Long As - BYU Vocal Point | Heroes – Alesso ft. Tove Lo | Brokenhearted – Karmin | Heartbeat Song – Kelly Clarkson | Cool Kids – Echosmith | Brighter Than the Sun – Smash | Cheers Drink to That – Smash | Don't Say Yes Until I Finish Talking – Smash | Second Hand White Baby Grand – Smash | Don't Forget Me – Smash | Tomorrow Tonight – Smash | Original – Smash | That's Life – Smash | Summertime – Charlotte Church | Oh Happy Day – Sister Act | William Tell Overture - Rossini | Pompeii – Bastille | Budapest – George Ezra | Hanging by a Moment – Lifehouse | Save Today – Seether | Whatever It Takes – The Faders | Brielle – Sky Sailing | Change My Needs – Scars on 45 | Wasn't Expecting That – Jamie Lawson | Hiding – This Is Me Smiling | Realize – Colbie Caillat | Bleeding Love – Leona Lewis | No Air – Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown | Chasing Cars – Snow Patrol | Today's The Day – Pink | Apologize – Timbaland ft. OneRepublic | Otherside – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Fences

Stressed Out – Twenty One Pilots | Country Grammar – Nelly | Milkshake – Kelis | My Humps – The Black Eyed Peas | Hollaback Girl – Gwen Stefani | Check On It – Beyoncé ft. Bun B, Slim Thug | DJ Got Us Fallin' in Love – Usher ft Pitbull | Painkiller – Jason Derulo ft Meghan Trainor | Wonderful Night – Fatboy Slim | Party All Night – Mytown | Smile – Lily Allen | Disclosure - Magnets ft. Lorde | Strong – London Grammar | Skinny Love – Birdy | Uncover – Zara Larsson | Wild Things – Alessia Cara | Young Blood – Bea Miller | Foolish NaNa – Barei | Thirteen Thirtyfive – Dillon | Clementine – Sarah Jaffe | No Rest For The Wicked – Lykke Li | Take Shelter – Years & Years | Talking Body – Tove Lo | Moonlight Desires – Gowan | We Belong – Pat Benatar | Don't Shed A Tear – Paul Carrack | I Don't Want to Miss a Thing – Aerosmith | Livin' On A Prayer – Bon Jovi | Stacy's Mom – Fountains of Wayne | MMMBop – Hanson | Electric Avenue – Eddy Grant | Radar Love – Golden Earring | I Believe In A Thing Called Love – The Darkness | Joy To The World – Three Dog Night | She's a Genius – JET | Young Men Dead – The Black Angels | Learn to Fly – Foo Fighters | Big Bright World – Garbage | Alberta Strong – Neil Szybunka & Tanner O'Dell | Boom – Simple Plan | She Likes – Forever The Sickest Kids | Damned If I Do Ya – All Time Low | Supernatural Parody – The Hillywood Show® | Mr. Brightside – The Killers | Now I Wonder – Hello Hollywood | That's What You Get – Paramore | Love Me Dead – Ludo | Teenage Dirtbag – Wheatus | Shogun – Trivium | First World Tragedy – Sunrise Skater Kids

The Love You're Given – Jack Garratt | Someday – Nickelback | Darude – Sandstorm | The Dog Song – Nellie McKay | Cotton Eye Joe – Rednex | Alfie – Lily Allen | Anaconda – The Educational Version | Ew! – Jimmy Fallon ft. will.i.am | The Slushious Song | If I Didn't Have You – Quest for Camelot | Zero to Hero – Hercules | We Are One – The Lion King 2 | Disney Dudez – Todrick Hall | Since U Been Gone – Kelly Clarkson | Can't Get You Out Of My Head – Kylie Minogue | Fallin' – Alicia Keys | Why Don't You And I – Santana Ft. Chad Kroeger | The Right Kind Of Wrong – Coyote Ugly | Gonna Get Over You – Sara Bareilles | These Words – Natasha Bedingfield | Like I'm Gonna Lose You – Meghan Trainor ft. John Legend | Butterflies – Liz Coyles | Kiss from a Rose – Seal | Broken – Caitlyn Taylor Love | You and I Tonight – Faber Drive | You're Beautiful – James Blunt | So Late So Sorry – Hello Hollywood | Billy S – Skye Sweetnam | All the Way Up – Emily Osment | Fix You - Vita Chambers | Stuck Out Here – Clinton Radars | All You Are Is History – State Champs | Hollywood Whore – Papa Roach | Demons – Sleigh Bells | Through The Green Door – Bigger Fish Than Guns | War Rages On – Alex Clare | Somebody to Love – Queen | Back in Time – Huey Lewis and the News | The Power Of Love – Huey Lewis and the News | Heartbreaker – Pat Benetar | Raise A Little Hell – Trooper | My Sharona – The Knack | Baltimora – Tarzan Boys | The Sign – Ace of Base | You Can't Hurry Love – Phil Collins | Some Nights – Jake Coco & Friends | Thank You – Mosaic | Peponi – The PianoGuys ft Alex Boye | Six Chords – BennyTheJukebox | Orinoco Flow – Enya

Movie Star – Hayley Kiyoko | I Found – Amber Run | Hollow – Tori Kelly | Towards The Sun – Rihanna | Locked Away – R. City ft Adam Levine | Ghost – Ella Henderson | One Thing – Finger Eleven | Million Years – Gareth Emery ft. Asia Whiteacre | The Hills – The Weeknd | Alone Again – Alyssa Reid | Tattoo – Jordin Sparks | Crazy In Love – Beyoncé ft. Jay Z | It Wasn’t Me – Shaggy | If I Ain't Got You – Alicia Keys | Dark Side – Kelly Clarkson | Complicated – Avril Lavigne | Here We Go Again – Demi Lovato | crushcrushcrush – Paramore | Fight Song – Rachel Platten | Number One – Skye Sweetnam | She Loves Everybody – Chester French | The Diamond Church Street Choir – The Gaslight Anthem | My Two Feet – Jesse Dee | Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Maps | Clocks – Coldplay | First – Cold War Kids | Cold Blooded – Ida Maria | Like You Love Her – Fat Sue | Backing Off – Champion | Nightmare – Eve 6 | Kill The Director – The Wombats | I Hate Everything About You – Three Days Grace | Last Resort – Papa Roach | Can't Stop The Rock – The Barrymores | The Heart It Beats the Thunder Rolls – The Wind and The Wave | Are You Happy Now? – Michelle Branch | Two Princes – Spin Doctors | Steady, As She Goes – The Raconteurs | Ex's & Oh's – Elle King | Heaven Knows – The Pretty Reckless | Bring Me To Life – Evanescence | I See Fire – Ed Sheeran | I'll Be Good – Jaymes Young | Pull Me In – The Graduate | Hercules – Fly Away Hero | Don't Dream It's Over – Crowded House | I Knew I Loved You – Savage Garden | All We Are – Matt Nathanson | I Remember You – The Tenors | In Calgary Alberta – Paper Lions

It's Time – Imagine Dragons | You Could Be Happy – Snow Patrol | Drops of Jupiter – Train | Cupid – Daniel Powter | Death Of A Bachelor – Panic! At The Disco | In the Still of the Night – Fred Parris & The Satins | Earth Angel – The Penguins | Do You Wanna Dance – Bobby Freeman | Rock Around The Clock – Bill Haley & His Comets | When I Get Low, I Get High – The Speakeasy Three | Sing,Sing,Sing (With a Swing) – Louis Prima | It’s A Good Day – Peggy Lee | Runaway – Del Shannon | Land of 1000 Dances – Wilson Pickett | I Don't Wanna Be Sad – Simple Plan | Lush Life – Zara Larson | Bye Bye Bye – 'N Sync | Oops! ... I Did It Again – Britney Spears | Whenever, Wherever – Shakira | I'm Like A Bird – Nelly Furtado | Say My Name – Destiny's Child | My Love – Justin Timberlake | I Wanna Be On Glee – Todrick Hall | Toxic – Britney Spears | Starstruck – 3OH!3 ft. Katy Perry | Love Me – The 1975 | Odds Are – Barenaked Ladies | One Last Night – Jesse Labelle ft Nixon | Turn it All Around – Atticus Mitchell | Revolution – Above Envy | Tough Love – Suzie McNeil | Paradise Waiting – Vacationer | Reflections – MisterWives | Disclosure – Jaded | Goodbye – Glenn Morrison ft Islove | Beautiful – Christina Aguilera | My Immortal – Evanescence | Say Goodbye – S Club 7 | Apologize – Timbaland ft OneRepublic | Runnin' (Lose It All) – Naughty Boy ft Beyoncé, Arrow Benjamin | Behind Blue Eyes – Limp Bizkit | A Day To Feel Alive – Jake Reese | Lay It All On Me – Rudimental ft. Ed Sheeran | Turn The Lights On – Big Sugar | Pork and Beans – Weezer | All The Small Things – blink-182 | Dear Maria, Count Me In – All Time Low | Me Against The World – Simple Plan | No One's Gonna Find Her In the Dark – Fall Out Boy & Panic! At the Disco | I Wonder – Diffuser 

Whipped Cream – Ludo | Emporer's New Clothes – Panic! At The Disco | 42 Song Pop Punk Mashup | Chills – Down With Webster | Body Parts – Plain White T's | Christmas Tree – Lady Gaga | Santa Rap – Eclipse 6 | Hello World – Lady Antebellum | The Kiss – Faith Hill | Teardrops On My Guitar – Taylor Swift | Before He Cheats – Carrie Underwood | If It Makes You Happy – Sheryl Crow | Stay A Little Longer – Brothers Osborne | All About The Girl – Jordan McIntosh | My Window Faces The South – Brad Paisley & Asleep At The Wheel | Everybody's Got Somebody But Me – Hunter Hayes ft. Jason Mraz | Last Of The Red Hot Fools – The Jitters | Break Up With Him – Old Dominion | Sweet Friend – The Orion Experience | I Do – Colbie Caillat | Mr. & Mrs. Beautiful – The Workday Release | Love Me Like You Do – McBusted | White Dress – Ben Rector | Riptide – Vance Joy | Little Me – Little Mix | Bright – Echosmith | The O.R.E.O Song – Carrie Hope Fletcher | Air Guitar – McBusted | Hold On (The Break) – Walk Off The Earth | I'm Yours – Jason Mraz | Marvin Gaye – Charlie Puth ft. Meghan Trainor | Hollywood – Michael Buble | All That She Wants – Ace of Base | I'll Be There For You – The Rembrandts | Out Of The Woods – Taylor Swift | American Hearts – Shawn James | So Close – Shawn Hook | Hold On Forever – Rob Thomas | Me and My Broken Heart – Rixton | Drag Me Down – One Direction | Rock Your Body – Justin Timberlake | Your New Boyfriend – The Orion Experience | Sound Of Your Heart – Shawn Hook | Go Big Or Go Home – American Authors | I Don't Wanna Go To Bed – Simple Plan ft Nelly | 7 Years – Lukas Graham | Fine By Me – Andy Grammer | Classic – MKTO | Land Of Opportunity – A Great Big World | Touch The Ground – Central Park ft Maylee Todd | Secrets – Mary Lambert | Knock 'Em Out – Lily Allen | You'll Be Okay – A Great Big World | Believer – Paper Lions | Hangover – Taio Cruz ft Flo Rida | Victorious – Panic! At The Disco | Haterz – Todrick Hall | Ugly Heart – G.R.L. | Honey, I'm Good – Andy Grammer | Vampire – The Orion Experience | Youngblood – Jem and the Holograms | Better When I'm Dancin' – Meghan Trainor | Waterfalls – TLC | Whatcha Say – Jason Derulo | Never Gonna Wake You Up – AVICII & Rick Astley

Year 4, Day 365

Last Day. Today's song is Never Gonna Wake You Up by AVICII and Rick Astley.

I have a habit of making some big great statement about the year I've had and the one I'm going to have in between writing this blog, but I don't really feel like it this time. This year was crap, I accomplished nothing. I probably will accomplish nothing in the between time. I'm not trying to sound defeatist, I'm just being realistic. So instead I want to do this. You guys figure out something that you've been putting off for awhile, big or small, and make a goal to finish it up before I come back to blogging. You can write down what it is in the comments as a sort of pledge to yourself. Perhaps we can all work towards our better selves together. And in a year we'll see where we are. In the meantime I promised a song that represents this year in full, so we have a mashup for you today of Rick Astley and AVICII. It's like an evolved Rickroll because if anything embodies this year, it's a leveled up meme. Enjoy and I will see you guys.... well, some time next year.

Peace.

Year 4, Day 364

Hey. Today I give you Whatcha Say by Jason Derulo.

Memes are everywhere lately and I must admit that I really like them. My personal favorite? The music memes. Hence this song. It's an old one that's long since died, but every once in a while one will pop up on my tumblr. I don't care how old it is I'll always laugh. It helps that I really like the song. This year has basically been a total joke so it seemed fitting to end it with a little internet tomfoolery. Just wait until tomorrow.

Peace.

Year 4, Day 363

Hello. So today's song is Waterfalls by TLC.

When I was desperate for something new to watch I had given Scream Queens a chance, mostly because of the creator. It was awful it my opinion and I don't plan to ever watch it again, but one good thing was the reintroduction to this song. I knew it before, but a lot of the show's fans had never heard it so it became a bit of a phenomenon for awhile. Which is good. Always bring back old music, it's good for society. So enjoy a little TLC today.

Peace.

Year 4, Day 362

What's Up. So today's song is Better When I'm Dancin' by Meghan Trainor.

Sammy almost gave me an anxiety attack thanks to a video game. Okay so I'm going to put the link here. It's a playthrough that Jack does, but before you commit to watching it know that this video is two hours long. She sent this to me with nothing but the title and the caption "watch it." No context no nothing. So I sat down and watched the entire thing before my family had come over on Thursday and I slowly progressed through those two hours from totally fine to mildly creeped out to feeling targeted specifically, to very very anxious, to needing to stop the video because I couldn't deal. I was texting her about it later to and the thing was we had differing views on the games outcome because we sit on different sides, essentially she is one character while I'm the other. If you watch I'll let you guess who was who, but I'm not going to force you if it's too heavy of a concept. Let me know if you do though!

Peace.

Year 4, Day 361

Hi. So today's song is Youngblood by Jem and the Holograms.

I played the Sims today because I figured it would be good to do another update before the year ended, but I'm sorry guys i don't really have one. For some reason the game is glitching and I can't do much to progress the game from where it was last time. Whether it's due to an update or because I used the backdoor coding I don't know, but I can only hope time will correct it. I'm leaning towards it being the update because I've used it since playing with character features in the coding and I had to do a major update before I could even open the game. If you guys have any insights I'd love them but otherwise enjoy the song. The movie it's from got so much flack for being bad, but the girls they cast are actually super talented. I've shown some other ones this year before I want to show you them singing live to show off that they have real star power.

Peace.

Year 4, Day 360

Evening. So today's song is Vampire by The Orion Experience.

Family dinner was short one uncle because he ended up having to work late. That’s the life of an auto-body painter… so I’m going to see him and his wife on the weekend since she wouldn’t have made it last night either due to teacher’s convention. It’s funny since I always used to celebrate that the teacher’s convention fell on my birthday, along with family day, because it meant I normally got an extra-long birthday weekend. It never occurred to me that that might be a problem at some point in my life. So, it was the usual suspects plus one uncle, his wife, and his kid. They brought with them an ice cream cake with the Little Mermaid on it (chosen by the child) and we had dinner and played games. I braced myself for it to be worse, but because we were celebrating my birthday I think everyone tried to be a little more cautious of their criticisms. This being the uncle that’s normally on his soapbox preaching about how to improve our lives. Instead the only rude things he said to me was dissing one of my favorite Disney movies and making fun of me for not knowing the names of ancient temples (because apparently knowing temple is required to be a halfways decent adult?). Their kid gave me a picture she drew which was very… abstract… in which she spelled her name wrong. So now I have dubbed her the YMCA because that’s the letters in her name. My uncle hates it, therefore it has to stick. I was also the one who dubbed my sister as Salmon which is what Will constantly uses now. Apparently, nicknames are my gift. Who knew?

Peace.

Year 4, Day 359

Hey guys. Today I give you Honey, I'm Good by Andy Grammer.

This is the song I put up for today and I'm going to leave it, but technically I've been listening to the birthday dance all day. So people are pretty vain (me included) and every year I would do this thing where I increased the birthday wishes to other people the closer it got to my own birthday. Kind of a way of banking my own wishes for my birthday so I seem popular and liked. It's an awful thing. This year though I refrained from doing it because I'm tired of that superficial need. So most of the birthday wishes I've gotten today have been from my family, and a few unexpected people, and it made me a lot happier. I got a message from my dad which was... unnecessary. And I even encountered more family members than I expected including my great Uncle Buster and my second cousin (?) Bernard. I thought he was supposed to be going back to Saudi Arabia after the funeral so it was a pleasant albeit alarming surprise. We're doing a family dinner tomorrow with my uncles so that's my official celebration, but today has been pretty good. Understated and minimal which is just what I like. Hope you guys had a good day too.

Peace.

Year 4, Day 358

Morning. So today's song is Ugly Heart by G.R.L.

So it's Valentine's Day. The day before my birthday. My depression has flared up with its impending status and caused me to go back to being a cave dweller of sorts trying to ignore my ever excited family members. Not such luck though. If I go a certain number of days without answering my sister's attempts at communicating (which happened since my phone has been on silent since Saturday) eventually she gets annoyed enough and comes to me. So she has bombarded the house and given me shit about this big plan she had to pamper me for my birthday (she works tomorrow) and then given me my gifts. Which are all things that would seem rude to give to someone under normal circumstances but considering the heart to hearts her and I have had they were on point. She also complained that I wouldn't let her buy me clothes but this is where my OCD comes out in that I'm picky about everything I buy to the point where I'm impossible to shop for ever. I appreciate her effort at trying to better me though. Now that she's gotten inside I'm giving up on my hermit life for now and am going to go with her to at least hang out for my birthday at her place if nothing else. Wish me luck.

Peace.

Year 4, Day 357

Hello. Today's song is Haterz by Todrick Hall.

I've always loved Todrick, but this song is so beyond incredible I can't even tell you. It's uplifting, it's empowering... and just the right amount of petty for me to always enjoy it. There's a caveat though. I can't listen to this song without thinking of my father. If you didn't know I had daddy issues before this moment the fact that I associate this song with him says a lot about our relationship thus far. I always think about doing a video singing to this and sending it to him, and I totally would if I didn't think he'd come after me. Singing along is enough though to expel all my feelings. It's good for your health to get out your feelings regardless of if the person hears them - they don't matter. It's about you as a person letting go. This song lets out the anger, and once you're past that and ready to forgive (I don't know if I'll ever get there) SoulPancake is ready to help on that front. So I hope you guys can use these things as vices just like I have for someone you're beefing with.

Peace.

Year 4, Day 356

Hiya. So today's song is Victorious by Panic! At The Disco.

I finally watched Rogue One and it's safe to say my life has been ruined by Diego. He's too god damn great in this. Alright so you guys know I never got into Star Wars until last year. I thought all the movie were pretty good, and the franchise is boss at casting hot guys, but I have never really been able to relate to any of them the way other fans do. Until this one. I know I'd like it because Felicity is an amazing actress (I've seen her in other stuff) and I've loved Alan since I saw A Knight's Tale, plus when the gifs started going on tumblr I knew I would fall for Diego. I thought I had prepared myself but I couldn't have. I related so hard to all these people and watched them make googly eyes at each other all the while knowing how it would end but the ending still crushed my heart beyond words. This is going to be the only movie following their story and I can't help but feel a little cheated since we get three for all the other characters. All I want is for there to be some big plot twist and what supposedly happened didn't happen. Please let the force work like that!

Peace.

Year 4, Day 355

Hello. Today's song is Hangover by Taio Cruz featuring Flo Rida.

Recently I got back into playing with the Infinite Jukebox because I will forever be searching for a song the loops well enough for me to listen to. I bring it up because I tried this one and it has worked out the best of any I've tried so far. I think it's because it's a club-like mix so there are a lot of repetitive pieces to work with. Sammy was over so we just sat on the bed while it looped for six minutes and it was actually pretty good. So if you're curious here is a link to the Infinite Jukebox and you can try this song out. Also if you find another one that loops well send it my way.

Peace.

Year 4, Day 354

Hey. Today's song is Believer by Paper Lions.

I haven't broken down and cried yet. I don't know when it's going to happen, but I'm ready for it when it comes. I wanted to tell you guys the story about the last time I got emotional after a funeral because it makes me equal parts sad and happy. Oddly enough it was after my other great grandma's funeral. That week I was supposed to go up to choir camp, but I talked to my teacher and was going to get dropped off there after I went to the funeral because I wanted to do both. So I went to the funeral and sat nicely while everyone around me cried, then we went to the graveyard for the burial and I was asked to help carry the casket because one of the granddaughters had to leave after the ceremony. I did it without incident (I tripped in a gopher hole, but didn't drop the casket thankfully). We headed out and my mom dropped me off at camp. I still hadn't cried at this point. So I come trotting into the hall everyone was in slipping half on the snow and half because of my heels and got mobbed by my friends. I'm sure they were expecting a blubbering mess, but I was way too excited to be at my first choir camp. We got through the whole day with me being fine, but when we finally got to lights out all my friends were grouped together on bunk bed style cots on one side of this huge cabin (huge as in 40 girls in one cabin). The only empty spots were on the other side of the room where I would be all alone. My brain went hell no to this so I grabbed the mattress of one of the beds and plunked it on the floor in between all my friends beds. A couple others girl decided this was a brilliant idea and plunked another mattress down so three of us could squish on the floor. In hindsight I think the only reason the chaperones left us be was because of my "situation" which I'm thankful for. Anyway in the middle of the night, in pitch black and silence, and smushed dead center in between six of my friends I started bawling my eyes out. I woke the others up, but they seemed to understand that I didn't need consoling, it was enough to have them all there for me. The next morning we went off as if nothing had happened and I was unfazed the rest of the trip, but that moment will stay vivid in my head forever. I can't even explain to you how beautiful/emotional/surreal that moment was for me. I can't even find the right word to equate to it. It's not a story I tell a lot because to others it's kind of a downer, but... it's one of my favorite high school memories. I had never (and haven't since) felt so... protected in my life. That is how grief should be. It should be something that lets you expel all the sorrow you're feeling without feeling alone. I can only hope that if grief should strike your lives you can find the same peace for yourself as I had in this one moment.

Peace.

Year 4, Day 353

Hi. Today's song is You'll Be Okay by A Great Big World.

A picture of my great grandparents

Today was supposed to be a different song, but I'm making a switch. I'm also writing this post in advance because as this is being uploaded I'll be standing in black at my great grandma's funeral. We decided to go (even though Sammy is most likely already losing it). This song just happened to play on my ipod the day I heard that she died and it stopped me in my tracks. It perfectly sums up all the emotions I've got going on for me and my family so I needed to put it up today. My great grandma was an amazing person. She was just the right mix of crazy and petty to fit into our family. When I think of her the first things that come to mind are angel food cake which she always had in her house when we visited, lego blocks that she kept stashed to play with even though they were thought of as boy toys, and security camera footage because she always had the door feed playing on her TV while we played with the lego. I also remember all the crazy gnome and fairy statues she had everywhere and this huge grandfather clock in literally the center of her apartment that went off every hour. These things I'll always associate with her and even though it doesn't sound like much it's actually a beautiful legacy that she left.

Peace.

Year 4, Day 352

Hi. Today I give you Knock 'Em Out by Lily Allen.

This song is hilarious to me. I mean I think all girls who are old enough to enter a bar have had this situation happen to them. When you get hit on by someone and you're looking for the easiest escape that will guarantee they wont come after you in a dark alley later on your way home. My go-to thanks to my tendency to freak out is to answer their opening question curtly then walk away fast. (Example: "how's it going?" "Fine." Run away.) Thanks to this song though I'm now prepared to tell people I'm pregnant, a lesbian, or have an STD. And honestly I'd rather admit to a having a sexually transmitted disease (even though I'm a virgin?) than have to deal with some creepy dude. Who's with me?

Peace.

Year 4, Day 351

Hey. So today's song is Secrets by Mary Lambert.

You guys can thank Sammy for this one. She sent it to me about a year and a half ago because it seemed like my theme song. And it totally is. I’m at the point in my life where I am over what people have to think about me an people trying to rattle me with things only I know. I’m a pretty open book. I mean not open to the point where I’m a total douche and drop truth bombs on everyone, but that I don’t feel the need to hide things about myself and my life. I lead a very boring life that isn’t worthy of secrecy. So in the words of Mary Lambert: So what.

Peace.

Year 4, Day 350

Evening. Today's song is Touch The Ground by Central Park featuring Maylee Todd.

This is Maylee. I couldn't find a picture of Central Park

Okay this is the last song from this movie that I'll show you. It's kind of fitting that it's the last one because in the movie it's the song played during the very last scene. This order was unintentional on my part, but I like when things work out like this. It's nice knowing that the world can still offer up some order among this chaos. Yes I'm being melodramatic, but it's just that kind of week.
Peace.

Year 4, Day 349

Hey guys. Today's song is Land of Opportunity by A Great Big World.

Despite the song these guys did with Christina Aguilera getting huge and well known, the rest of their stuff gets very little exposure. It's upsetting because if you listen to their stuff it's obvious where the true talent from that other song came from. Sure Christina has the fame, but these guys are the kind of artist you want to listen to. Each song is unique and gives you happy vibes. So in a week where happy vibes are needed, this one seemed perfect.

Peace.

Year 4, Day 348

Hey. So today's song is Classic by MKTO.

I'm showing you guys this song, but honestly I love this entire album. So even if you're not into this one, check out their other stuff because it's all fantastic. There was a solid month where the album was all I listened to. I never got tired of it and now I know every song by heart. It's always been a rare thing to find an album that you fully approve of (rather than skipping to one song) so when they come around I like to share them. Anyway hope you like it.

Peace.

Year 4, Day 347

Afternoon. Today I give you Fine By Me by Andy Grammer.

This link is not to the official video, but is instead linked to a live recording of him performing because I wanted to showcase how good he sounds live. As you know that's something I have a pet peeve about (when singers can't actually sing.) This recording shows more than that though. There are singers who can sing, but in the studio the song gets edited so much to the point where despite having a great voice they sound nothing like the recording. Andy sounds exactly the same in both live performances and on the recording. Sure live your voice can crack which his does, but he's belting out a performance so it's understandable. If you guys know what I'm talking about with the studio edits send me some examples. I always like making comparisons.

Peace.

Year 4, Day 346

Hi. Today's song is 7 Years by Lukas Graham.

So my great grandma died this morning. It’s becoming a pattern that when someone in my family dies I find out first thing in the morning while trying to mentally prepare for something else. Like the death is literally the first thing that is said to me. There hasn’t been a lot of death in my family which I’m lucky to have, but I feel awful every time is happens for not feeling awful. I loved my great grandma. I did, but I never saw her. She was a little senile and every time I saw her she thought I was my mom. The last death before this was my uncle who killed himself when I was in junior high. I didn’t feel affected for that one either, and ended up planning the whole funeral with my mom while everyone else fell apart. Is there something wrong with me? Why doesn’t death affect me?! I’m terrified of death and yet… I become numb to the emotional turmoil I should feel. I’m taking my grandpa to the eye doctor today so at least I can feel better about the fact that I was with my grandpa when he got the phone call.